20 Pounds of Spaghetti
by wicked-hipster-polski
Summary: Germany and Japan are enjoying a nice lunch as coworkers one day. However, Italy has a major problem after eating 20 pounds of spaghetti and not even Germany knows how to help him.
1. Chapter 1

A German and a Japanese were out to lunch. The Japanese, Kiku, had a bowl of Nikujaka that he brought from home. He sat contently across from the German, Ludwig. Ludwig had brought a potato salad that he had prepared the night before. The two coworkers sat at the lunch table of the office. It was silent aside from the two chewing on their lunches. Suddenly, Ludwig's phone rang a loud, old telephone ring.

"Hmm?" Ludwig grunted, looking over at his phone. The caller ID read, "Feliciano Vargas". Feliciano is Ludwig's Italian friend. Ludwig curiously picked up.

"Yes, Feliciano; what is it?" Ludwig answered.

"Ludwig, _Ludwig_, **_Ludwig_**!" Feliciano cried into the reciver, "I _really_ need your help!"

Ludwig sighed. "What do you need help with this time?"

"I ate 20 pounds of pasta-spaghetti to be exact-and I went to use the bathroom, but I peed out-a pasta! It's a long sting and I need you to come help! It hurts so much!" Feliciano explained, crying.

Ludwig spit out his salad. "YOU WHAT?! HOW IS THAT EVEN PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE?!" he exclaimed.

Kiku jumped in his seat. "W-What is it, Ludwig?" he asked nervously.

Ludwig held up a finger to Kiku. "I don't even know how I can help you!" he yelled into the phone.

"I don't even know how I can help myself! I'm just so scared and I'm in-a so much pain!" Feliciano cried.

"Uhh-" Ludwig started, "I'll do my best!" he finished, hanging up his phone.

* * *

gosh i don't even know what that was or how to finish it. this was just some idea i had a really long time ago and i need to construct something out of this but i know i was laughing so hard as i wrote this


	2. Chapter 2

"Ludwig-san, wh-what is it?!" Kiku asked as he watched Ludwig hang up his phone. "Identify the problem!"

"Feliciano's ejecting pasta from unusual places!" Ludwig cried, standing up and putting on his jacket.

"Eh, what do you mean by that?!" Kiku asked, nervously watching an anxious Ludwig.

Ludwig stared uncomfortably at Kiku. "Eh…I'll leave you to figure that out for yourself," he said, rushing out of the workplace.

Kiku scarcely looked at Ludwig's unfinished salad, shaking. _I'm curious to find out what Ludwig was talking about, however, I _do_ want to finish my lunch… _Kiku thought, dropping his chopsticks.

* * *

"Feliciano! Are you okay?" Ludwig yelled, knocking on the front door to Feliciano's house.

A red and worried face appeared behind the cracked door. "Ludwig…please help me," Feliciano replied, sounding calmer than usual. His voice sounded a little scratchy.

"Yes, just let me inside," Ludwig said, adjusting his tone to Feliciano's.

Feliciano slowly opened the door to his house, revealing a very long string of pasta the wound from up a flight of stairs, around a lamppost, and finally, to Feliciano. Ludwig stood in the doorway, shocked at what awaited him. Feliciano sniffled, looking at Ludwig as he began to walk inside.

"May I ask why you ate this much pasta in the first place?" Ludwig questioned as his eyes trailed the string of spaghetti.

"My big-brother and I had a pasta eating contest," Feliciano began to explain, calmly. His voice was soft and scratchy. "I won," he finished, smiling a little.

The slam of a door was heard by the two, followed by footsteps. "Right! But this is your prize!" Lovino laughed, pointing at Feliciano's red face. He held an empty bucket in one hand as he tossed a small box of tissues at Feliciano.

"Hey! Wait!" Lovino exclaimed, dropping the bucket. "What the hell is that potato bastard doing here?!"

Ludwig sighed. "He called me here to help hi—"

"O~h no, Ludwig!" Lovino exclaimed, pointing Ludwig in the face.

"Big brother, it's okay," Feliciano interrupted softly, promptly blowing his nose into a tissue.

Lovino backed away from Ludwig a little, staring him down. He kicked the bucket that he dropped, and picked it back up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Other than to threaten me," Ludwig started, "what is the bucket for?"

"What do you think it's for? To stuff all of that pasta in!" Lovino retorted. He held up the bucket at Ludwig before sitting it down on the table.

Feliciano opened the box of tissues and quietly blew his nose, causing Ludwig to assume that he had been crying. He promptly let his head fall to the table, wrapping his arms around it.

"Avviare!" Lovino shouted, breaking the silence. "I'm gonna get started upstairs. Potato bastard! You can clean up all of the pasta sauce. There may be blood in it but you won't be able to tell so don't worry!" he stood up and grabbed the bucket again. He walked in the direction of the staircase. "Paper towels are over there. There's a lot so you'll get stressed." And with that, he head up the flight of stairs, avoiding the string of pasta that went up next to him.

Ludwig looked down at the embarassed Feliciano for a minute. He sighed and reached for the roll of paper towels that sat near the sink. However, he caught sight of a small coffee maker-like one seen in hotels. Looking back at Feliciano, he opened and poured a packet of coffee inside. Adding water, Ludwig flipped the switch on and the coffee maker began doing its job. Ludwig already knew where Feliciano's coffee mug was, and sat it next to the coffee maker in preperation. He held the roll of paper towels under his arm and watched the thin stream of coffee pour itself into Feliciano's mug. He added a little sugar and cream, stirring it in as the coffee poured into the mug.

"What the hell are you doing, you fruity bastardo?!" Lovino shouted from the top of the staircase. He held the bucket in his left hand, and they way he held it made Ludwig assume that it was heavier.

Taking the cup of coffee from the coffee maker, Ludwig placed it next to Feliciano. He moved the roll of paper towels from under his arm to his right hand and pulled one off of the roll.

"Where would you like for me to start?" Ludwig asked. _Sassy._


End file.
